"Held Captive": Formation of Religious and the Need for Special Education Techniques



by Father Benedict Auer, O.S.B.


In many monasteries and convents throughout the United States it is not unusual to overhear a conversation between two religious after a junior religious has been asked to leave the community. The young religious who was asked to leave had been very disruptive and caused much havoc within the community. One of the older religious members might express concern over some of the antics that the community has had to put up with during the two years or more of the young person's soujourn with the community. The other religious then usually expresses the fact that the formation director has had to give the young person sufficient rope to hang his or herself. Finally the first religious might say," Why is it that today the community is often held captive by young people trying to enter the religious life?" This article is an attempt to answer that question, and to offer some suggestions to forestall these occurances of "being held captive" from occuring, or at least help communities to deal quickly when they do occur.

The Present State of American Education
As an assistant professor of education at a small Roman Catholic liberal arts college we have a large education division which is roughly a third of the enrollment of the entire college and I work with students in teacher preparation. It is an exciting if sometimes discouraging position. I have been teaching for over twenty-five years in every grade from pre-school through graduate school, and have been in vows over 17 years. As a late vocation (I was 36 when I entered the monastery), I had a lot of my experience in my pre-conversion days as a lay teacher in Catholic schools. But within the last seven years since I started teaching college there has been a general revolution in education. The United States has become a country of labels - everything and everyone is labeled. Students are ADHD (Attention Deficiet Hyperactivity Disorder), BD (Behavior Disorder), ED (Emotional Disorder), and so forth. We have inclusion, multi-age classrooms, outcome based education, and as this article is being written problably six new ways to work with children in the classroom. When planning with my student teachers, I proscribe many different ways to work with problem children - from the Glasser's "reality therapy" model to the Cantor's "assertive discipline" model of classroom management and all the options between. Fledgling student teachers during their internship struggle with discipline, classroom environment, and other multitudious problems. Inclusion has created many challenges for the classroom teacher. None of which are insurmountable, rather each one is able to be worked with when sufficient knowledge is present and fear is dispelled through education of the staff, the parents, and student. Special Education is a field which is truly expanding and its effects can be seen in m any areas. It is now recommended by the U.S. Department of Education that teachers preparing for elementary teaching should major in elementary education and have an academic endorsement like reading or language arts, and a second endorsement in Special Education. Why all this background on the state of education within the United States? Because it was not until recently that it dawned on me that maybe many religious communities are missing the boat - in a big way - in fact, many of religious may be still sitting on the pier waiting for something to happen, sometimes not even knowing what to look for. We may just bewildered or maybe even waiting for Godot.

I have discovered that in our unawareness of what is happening in the world that many of those "labeled" children have grown up and some have entered religious life or are seeking admission . Many of these "disordered" people have sought admission to communities that are basically filled with people who entered religious life between the ages of 14 to 18, came from "nuclear" families, and had private school education where reading and writing were central features of the curriculum. A few years ago, Father Wulstan Mork, O.S.B., who had a way of expressing a truth through humor, came into the recreation room of Marmion Abbey and said, "I have been teaching for thirty years or more, and I have finally realized the true Benedictine vocation. We have an apostolate to the Barbarians just like the Medieval monks." This may be an exaggeration, but I believe he was not too far off the mark. Today many high school students may resemble the Visigoths not in features but in their inability to read and write, their severe emotional and behavioral problems, and an apathetic approach to life. According to one of the speakers at an Institute on Resisliant Youth in the Violent World that I heard at Harvard Graduate School of Education last summer, " The United States is a country in denial." And religious communities may be in the same state as the country - many religious deny that anything has changed since the 1950's except the numbers applying for admission to religious communities.

The State of Religious Recruits

Many of the people coming to religious life in recent years are dysfunctional by anyone's standards, yet how often we try to pretend that nothing has changed and everything is fine. The average American religious is bewildered and befuddled by many of the people seeking admission to their communities, but tend not to vocalize his or her apprehensions.

Examples abound to back up this previous statement. For instance, many young people in schools throughout the nation are angry. Anger is a major American problem. Therefore many religious communities are accepting, even after screening, candidates who are angry, but very few communities have anger management programs in place. The average religious community is still using the old "osmosis" theory of religious acceptance. Come and visit. Do this on a regular basis. And you will learn about us and we will learn about you. Nice idea. But the reality of today's candidates may not fit into these patterns. The "modeling" method of learning about religious life may not work for many young people who have learned to work the system. "Passive aggression" may not surface during a few visits or even an entire novitate, and only during a juniorate may these actions surface. Another serious problem is hyperactivity. Candidates are seeking admission to our communities who are in constant motion - feet tapping, fingers twitching, unable to sit still, and so forth. What can be done with such potential problems remains for many communities a mystery and thus we end up with built in rhythm sections in our choirs. In meantime, an entire community may be ""held captive" by an individual who is hostile and often vindictive, hyperactive and in a constant state of motion. These actions are so subtle and observed possibly by only a small portion of the community that other religious may not even be aware it is going on within our religious communities. Those religious not sitting next to the candidate who is constantly tapping his feet may be totally unaware that there is a problem. This complicates the problem, and often causes hard feelings because others may think the person experiencing the constant tapping is exaggerating.

I know of a number of convents and monasteries that have experienced the ultimate in being "held captive" with a suicide of a novice or junior nun or monk. Guilt after the suicide is a devastating problem for the communties where this has happened. When I was in the seminary in the late 1970's, I became friends with a junior monk from another monastery who was a wonderful person but with deep seated problems. His community idolized him because they had not had a vocation for many years. He was the apple of everyone's eyes. He had problems recognizing his inabilities to form close relationships due to the death of his father and the remarriage of his mother. He could not articulate his feelings. The religious community, not unsimilar to many religious communities, was nonconfrontative and passive in their approach to the young man. He'll grow out of the problem. They loved who they thought he was, not who he really was. The semester after I left the seminary, he hung himself a few weeks before his thirtieth birthday. The community suffered a feeling of betrayal, and yet here was a young man who did not know what to do, and a community with nothing in place to help him. What most communities do is have outside counselors deal with problems, and give outside answers. Most problems are not this serious. Yet communities tend to send the junior or novice off to counseling and then they seem to feel they have done their part. Deep seated problems in an individual may require a renovation of a system or institution. Everyone in a religious community is part of the formation process. Anyone who is a member of a religious community is only kidding himself or herself if he or she thinks that each member of the community is part of the solution.

Modeling

When a postulant or candidate enter a community, formation directors often say observe what is going on, and model yourself on other monastic or religious behavior. One problem with "modeling" is that many young people do not know how to model. They are often insensitive to others and their needs. For instance, an only child will usually react differently to situation than a child from a family of ten or twelve children. Many of the religious in convents and monasteries throughout the country are from families of three or more children; most candidates entering convents and monasteries today are only children or from a family of two children. Most vowed religious are from nuclear families with two parents; many candidates seeking admission to the our communities are from "broken homes" or single parent homes. A result of this upbringing can be insensitivity. Insensitivity is a serious issue for today's religious community.. How does a religious comunity make a thirty year-old sensitive to the needs of the community, and vice versa? What does an individual religious do to help in the formation of potential permanent members? Everyone works carefully, yet with intent.

A Special Education Model
I would like to suggest a model for formation directors which differs considerably from the "modeling" or "osmosis" model. My suggestion is taken from special education. Now I know that the situation is different from the classroom to the religious community, yet St. Benedict does call it "a school of the Lord's service." And in a true sense of the word a religious community is a community of scholars and learners. We learn from each other, but how that is to be done is the present question. I am saying that for most religious communities the old way of doing things is no longer working. Denial that things will get better without doing anything drastic cannot continue. Let us try something new.

Certainly the present model of frequent visitations still is needed. We cannot remove the obvious - people must experience our life in order to really know what we are about. Yet some questions are never asked of those seeking admission into our community. Often our encounters with possible candidates is superficial rather than substantive. Our preconversations abound with superficialities. As a vocation director for eight years, I tended not to ask the right type of questions. I often was nonconfrontational. I tried to observe, but I was also teaching full time and had many other jobs. If vocations are a community priority then a full time vocation director might be appropos. Sometimes the Vocation Director and the Formation Director might be the same person, but certainly if personnel is available it would be nice for them to be two different persons. The Vocation Director should interview the potential candidate with questions that probe his or her social awareness and social skills. Does the young person interact well with community members? Does she or he speak only when spoken to? What are their fears? Do they have probing questions? Is it a monologue instead of the dialogue? These are fairly evident questions, but observation is also important. For instance, table manners give a picture which points to a lack of social graces if not skills. I remember one person recently who when he finished eating had more food around his plate and on the table than reached his mouth. This is easily corrected if the community wishes to address the issue. But often the community remains critical in talk, but not in action. No one bothered to say a word to either the candidate or the formation director. Yet the correction would be so simple. It could simply go like this. "Do you realize that as a religious you will be invited to many different kinds of occasions and eat with many socially prominent people. I think that you might need to brush up on your table manners or at least be aware of how you are coming across to others who dine with you. May I suggest you talk with Father S, and see what you might do to improve your table manners." Straightforwardness is not always a religious community's strongest point. Frequently community members keep silent and continue to be miffed, but never say a word. Such straight forward talk is essential for good community relations. Just to say: "I won't say anything for eventually he or she will catch on," just doesn't work any longer. We need direct intervention.

Reflective Direct Intervention
Reflective Direct Intervention is a special education technique. We, either the formation director or a community member, need to inform the candidate, novice or junior as to exactly what the problem is and how it can be solved. This is not done in monologue but in dialogue. Unless handled well, this approach can be threatening. A young person may find confrontation difficult to handle at first. For instance, a young person may be used to a variety of clothes in the outside world, especially the colors of the rainbow called florescent, yet on entering a community such attire is not appropriate and is distracting to other religious. One can wait until a person catches on (osmosis), or simply help the person with direct intervention. Another problem is volumn within community. Many people coming into religious life today have never known a moment without TV, radio or a stereo, so they talk on a decimal level above normal conversational tone. Often they are unaware of what this means to a community which has often lived in an atmosphere of prayerful silence and quiet. "They should catch on" (osmosis) would be the obvious response. But what if they have never been told. It will take time even if they are told about the problem, but if they aren't told. Are they supposed to guess? Many people are not good at guessing when they have not been sensitized to others.

The problems get worse as we leave behind us the simple things we have just mentioned - table manners, loudness, and so forth. What about the big issues? Recenly I heard a teacher tell me about a youngster who came to class and refused to obey or listen to anything the teacher said. When the teacher told the parent, "Your son has no respect for authority." The mother answered "Good. I have taught him that way." If that youngster fifteen or twenty years from now decides the religious life is for him, we have a problem. Not everything is done democratically in religious life. Things have changed a lot since Vatican II, but there are still times when we have to do things that we do not wish to do, or we are told to do something for the good of the community. Freedom abounds, but no one is ever completely free. Therefore, this issue must be addressed especially if anger is tied up to the authority issue. Yet how often in religious life is this issue addressed? Frequently religious superiors do not ask some people to do anything because they realize the answer will be no. Formation directors have a very hard task in front of them to confront candidates about their attitudes about authority figures. Very often candidates with serious issues about authority are passive aggressives as well. We have seen whole communities disrupted by such behavior - community members unable to speak to each other, superiors being denigrated by fellow religious, people in a constant state of anger. Issues such as these may be beyond the scope of the formation director, but they must be addressed so that a process can be developed.

The IEP Model
In dialogue between the formation director, other members of the community, and the individual, a plan can be developed not dissimilar to an Special Education IEP (Individual Education Program). This plan would include a statement of the individual's present levels of performance, a statement of goals, a statement of short term objectives to support the goals, a statement of specific needs, a date or deadline of accomplishment of the above, a justification for why this is being done, and who is responsible for what in the program. For instance, Lucy has seemed quite angry lately. After talking with her it is discovered she finds herself unable to control her rage. What might be suggested for her? An anger management workshop, seeing a regular counselor, dialogue with a superior, and keeping the candidate, novice, or junior informed on how he or she is perceived by the community are just a few suggestions which might come out of such a program. Included in this plan could be things to work on daily, weekly, and long range. It should also be mentioned that the community has an obligation to see how the candidate is viewing the community as well - romantically, realistically, with paranoia, or whatever. This whole process requires an openness not found in many communities. It is tough being honest, and yet without such honesty we find ourselves in communities loosing our candidates, novices, and juniors.

Now this program I am suggesting is not something to be taken on without preparation. Present formation personnel should be allowed the luxury of training - not just in spiritual direction (although this is essential), but in practical things such as anger management, assertiveness, and even in Special Education strategies and techniques. Scripture warns us that not being as wise as the worldly is unwise. Often we are unwise.. Today we must be wise as the world is wise if our communities are to survive and prosper in a healthy setting. We need to confront each other. The "osmosis" and "modeling" methods are not working for most communities. At the present time in our histories, we need to shift gears. In a world dulled by media, a world in which people often are numb from what they have experienced, we need to be much more forceful and open in our dealing with problems within our communities. This method may seem too behavioral for many formation people who prefer the model of "religious osmosis," but I offer this not as a behavioralist but rather as someone who has lived in four different communties over the last twenty years, and seen frustration grow into anger because issues are never addressed with regard to candidates, novices and juniors. And when they are not addressed they are not dealt with, and we find ourselves "hostages" to ourselves and these individuals. We must find ways to deal with these issues that work. Why reinvent the wheel? My suggestion is don't, but instead borrow from special education some techniques that seem to be working. These are only suggestions, and hopefully if we start to work on such issues using already established methods we will be able to reverse the trend of attrition within our various communities. Then maybe communities will not be "held captive," but instead be free to pursue their goals with integrity and faith.


Suggested Readings :
Banks, James A., and Cherry A. McGee Banks (ed.), Multicultural Education:
 Issues and Perspective , 2nd Edition (Boston: Allyn and Bacon, 1993).

Gollnick, Donna M., and Philip C. Chin, Multicultural Education in a Pluralistic Society (New York: Merrill, 1994).

Heward, William L., and Michael D. Orlansky, Exceptional Children: An Introductory Survey of Special Education , 4th Edition (Columbus, Ohio: Merrill, 1992).

Kurtz, Ernest, and Katherine Ketcham, The Spirituality of Christian Imperfection: Storytelling and the Journey of Wholeness (New York: Bantam Books, 1994).
Muller, Wayne, Legacy of the Heart: The Spiritual Advantages of a Painful Childhood (New York: A Fireside Book, Simon and Schuster, 1992). Father Benedict Auer, O.S.B. is a member of St. Martin's Abbey in Lacey Washington. He is an assistant professor of Education at St. Martin's College. He is widely published having written three books of poetry. He holds a Doctor of Ministry degree in Christian Spirituality from San Francisco Theological Seminary.